Mama diaries

Almost

Almost
explanation of above pic: 
I asked Elsie what kind of picture we should take and she said “a crazy silly one mama” and so of course right when my Timer Cam App was about to take our photo Vernon’s cracker filled hands got attacked by those pesky seagulls, hence my concerned serious look while Elsie stayed right on course.

Almost AlmostWe were at the beach for most of the day yesterday. It was overcast and I lost track of time due to the marine layer. Normally the sun makes it’s appearance around noon(ish) through the haze but it never did and so we played for hours… way past nap times.
Which was fine because we enjoyed the empty quiet beach.
Digging.
Running.
Seagull Chasing.
Strawberry eating.
Watching.
Listening.

And I silently prayed as I admired both of my sweet babes running up and down a sand hill for what seemed forever.
Prayed over their hearts, safety, future friends, health and so on. I especially took some time praying for my sweet Elsie.
In just a few days she will be turning four and after spending countless hours going through photos and videos of her as a baby/toddler I couldn’t help but cry as I watched her play. She is becoming such a little lady and blesses my heart so much.
Her tender, sensitive spirit is something I relate to greatly but it is sometimes something I struggle with as well. I see so much of me in her. So many things that trigger my tears and emotions are the same things that make her waterworks flow.
Because I saw my sensitively and emotions as a bad thing for so long I still catch myself getting frustrated or short with her when she panics when we are trying to rush out the door or from the hundred questions she asks if we are meeting someone new because she is anxious about the unknown.
I am the same.
And so I realized when I feel myself getting upset with her emotional outbreaks it’s because I’m seeing something that is in myself and I’m learning to love it and not be ashamed of it.
I love that she is sensitive. It is such a quality to have and I want to guide and nurture her  spirit, not break it.
As she grows I want her to feel safe and loved. To know that her emotions are real and okay. That weeping to slow songs is okay and crying when Vernon cries because she is overwhelmed is okay too but not necessary.
I want to be more sensitive to her needs. Let her know I understand and help her channel her emotions correctly.

Though sensitive, she is oh so much fun. She is playful and silly. And makes me laugh out loud everyday with her ideas and silly banter.

I asked her what tutus we should wear for her Tutu Tea Party and she told me pink ones and very excitedly said our hair needed to be rainbow.

Since I already had teal and needed to freshen it up I decided to just add some more color for fun.
She hasn’t stopped complimenting my hair since it’s been done and can’t wait for hers to be rainbow too. (Don’t worry Grandmas…I will use temporary chalk for her sweet baby hair)
It seems surreal that she will be four. Writing it out just doesn’t seem to fit, but I know we’ll grow into it.
Oh, be still my heart. My sweet baby is four…Almost.Almost

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